We continue our studies in Brit Shalom, chapter six, regarding family matters—specifically matters of love, in the sections dealing with the love between a man and his wife.
There is an interesting halakha in paragraph 4:
A man and woman who share a relationship of love, trust, and mutual respect are beloved and pleasing before the Creator.
In other words, it’s not enough to say, “We committed to live together.” We also committed to honor one another, to give each other trust and respect. And the question is: how is this actually done?
It cannot work, for example, if the husband is constantly traveling far away, and the wife is also away somewhere else. They will not get to know each other, and the relationship will not become established. Therefore, the Torah says that in the first year of marriage this obligation is absolute for the people of Israel: the man does not go out to army, even if there is a war. The first year is dedicated to strengthening the marital bond.
Thus, in paragraph 5, it states that it is especially important to invest in cultivating the relationship of love during the first year of marriage. As the Torah says: “He shall not go out to war; he shall be free for his home for one year, and he shall bring joy to his wife whom he has taken.” This, of course, continues throughout all the years of life together.
